Lincoln Alan Lee

On Tuesday, January 9th, Karina woke up around 5:30 AM with some pain. She said she was having contractions, but the weird thing about them was that they were every 5 minutes and 5 seconds long. We're not sure if the contractions woke her up but I think that they did because she usually wouldn't wake up at that hour, even to my surf alarms. She hung out for a little while and then woke me up around 6:15 AM saying, "I think I'm having contractions." Since the contractions were so odd in length and interval, we didn't know if we should go to the hospital. Randomly, she also felt some discharge and when she checked what it was, it was diluted blood. We called the nurses after about 10 minutes of waiting and a few hang-ups, Karina finally talked to someone and the nurse said to come in, mainly because of the blood.

I called my dad and he headed over. We got everything packed up, got the kids up and ready for the day, and we were ready exactly when my dad showed up. It was fun driving with Karina going into labor, the rain was strong, and I wouldn't have to worry about work for a couple days. We would have a cozy time in the hospital, having a baby and snuggling up, watching the rain.

When we got to the hospital it was about 8:15 AM and Karina was still smiling with early labor pains, no frowns quite yet. They checked her cervix and she was at a 7 and they said she had ruptured earlier and was leaking amniotic fluid (but the bag was still intact). Last time she was an 8 and she went into heavy pains immediately so this time we tried to make sure they knew we were in a hurry to get the epidural and not repeat the nightmare that happened last time. Luckily Nancy, the same midwife that we had with Clark, was there! So she ultimately got to deliver both Clark and Lincoln. She didn't really remember us. The nurses were all really nice to us, getting excited with us and saying how cute Karina was, how cute the name Lincoln was.

We got into the room where Karina would give birth. The epidural couldn't be done until Karina's blood tests came back, so we got that going and by 9:40 AM she got the epidural. The epidural doctor was really nice and quick. Everything went perfectly with it and from here on out it was all smiles.

At 10:45 AM Nancy came in to check on Karina and right then her water broke. There was meconium in the water when it broke. Because of the meconium, the pediatricians would be in the room during delivery just in case there were complications. By this time Karina was at an 8. We just hung out for a little while, rested, watched a bit of a movie on the iPad, chatted, and took some pictures.

At 12:35 PM Nancy checked on the cervix but the baby's head was already in the birth canal. So at 12:42 she started pushing. He was born at 12:47. It was really quick!

When Lincoln came out, he came out a bit different than the other kids. With the other kids, once the head came out, the rest sorta just flopped out seemingly with no effort. Also the other kids were crying pretty much the instant they came out. Lincoln's head came out and then the midwife helped him get his first shoulder and arm out. He was in that position for a few seconds, which looked really creepy, like a monster was escaping from an underground hole. He also wasn't crying which was the big issue.

After a few seconds, Lincoln was pushed/pulled completely out, but since there was no crying, the midwife cut his cord quickly and handed him over to the 3 pediatricians from the NICU. They had a warming bed where they laid him and started doing all sorts of stuff to him. One of them was rubbing both hands on his sides, one of them was suctioning out liquids from every place she could find (nose and throat), and the other was attaching wires all over the place. The 3 of them were so in sync and busy looking it was pretty incredible to watch the professionalism.

The sensors were showing that Lincoln was not breathing sufficiently to keep his blood-oxygen levels up above their desired threshold. They wanted 85 but he would drop below that and they gave him oxygen over his face. Once he got to around 95 with the aide of the oxygen, they would remove it and wait. He kept dropping below that 85 number so they said they needed to keep working with him in the NICU.

Me and Lincoln headed over to the NICU. They gave him an IV which was giving him glucose for his blood. Then they put him on 2 liters of airflow and 40% oxygen (the normal air you breathe is 21%). Their plan was to pretty much reduce those aides until he was able to breathe fine on his own and keep his blood-oxygen levels up. Over the next few hours they reduced him to 25% and 2 liters, then 21% and 2 liters, then 21% and 1 liter, then they removed all support. In each stage he did really well. The doctor and nurses told me there were a ton of reasons this could have happened, but it seemed like in his case he was just slow to adapt to the new environment. This became more and more clear as more of their tests came back normal. He would cry a little bit but never really what you expect from a hungry newborn. They tested his blood and did an x-ray on his chest. Everything was good so as long as he didn't have a major problem like pneumonia then it was probably just a slow transition.

At 4:00 PM Karina visited Lincoln, she strolled up in a wheelchair. He had just come off all breathing support and they just wanted him to be stable for about an hour before letting him go. So she fed him for the first time, that lasted 30 minutes. Then at 5:00 PM he was released from the NICU and we all headed over to the recovery room.

Lincoln is a little cutie pie. He enjoys crying, eating, sleeping, and most of all, pooping. He's got a ton of brown hair, but the roots seem to be blonde so we think he'll be blonde later. He has beautiful blue eyes (maybe, it's kinda hard to tell the color right now). We love our 4th little angel.

Lincoln and Karina are doing great with breastfeeding. Everything else seems to be normal. Kim is visiting for a week and I'll be getting 3 weeks off of work after that. All is well!

36 weeks

How far along?: 36 weeks

Total weight gain: 21 pounds! 

How big is baby?: The size of romaine lettuce (about 18.5 inches, almost 6 pounds)

Maternity clothes?: yes. And lots of stretchy dresses

Movement: It's at the alien stage

Stretch marks?: I'm fairly certain I have some around my belly button. They're white marks so it's a little hard to tell

Sleep?: I'm falling asleep easier, but still need a nap almost every day

Symptoms?: The heartburn is becoming less, but I'm having back pain.

Food cravings: Orange Juice

What I miss: Not having a rock hard belly. It's so hard to bend even slightly

What I'm looking forward to: Christmas! Duh! So many fun activities and family get-togethers coming up!

32 weeks

How far along?: 32 weeks

Total weight gain: 17 pounds! 

How big is baby?: The size of a squash (about 16.6 inches, about 3.75 pounds)

Maternity clothes?: yes, or just sweatpants

Movement: dare I say too much? It's starting to get to painful stage 

Stretch marks?: maybe around my belly button. I can't tell yet. 

Sleep?: Still always tired, and still having a hard time taking a nap :(

Symptoms?: heartburn almost every night

Food cravings: anything

What I miss: being able to bend over without getting winded

What I'm looking forward to: my parents are coming into town for Thanksgiving! 

27 weeks

How far along?: 27 weeks

Total weight gain: 13 pounds! Only 1 pound more since last month. I'm glad things are slowing down a little...for now

How big is baby?: The size of lettuce (about 14.4 inches, about 1.93 pounds)

Maternity clothes?: yes on tops, but maternity bottoms are still too loose 

Movement: lots of kicking and pushing

Stretch marks?: not yet

Sleep?: I'm usually always tired, whether pregnant or not. But lately I haven't been able to fall asleep for nap time (yes, nap time is for me too). I haven't been feeling too tired because of it though, but it's always hard to get up in the morning.  

Symptoms?: A little heartburn

Food cravings: Just everything

What I miss: Wearing my regular clothes. None of my maternity clothes are cute

What I'm looking forward to: Halloween! We have lots of fun Halloween/Fall activities coming up this month. Now if only the weather would get with the program.

22 weeks

I'm a few weeks late on this post. My goal is to post every time I have a prenatal appointment. I'm 19 weeks along right now, but I'm going to write this post as if it were right after my appointment. 

How far along?: 22 weeks

Total weight gain: 12 pounds! Yikes!

How big is baby?: The size of a spaghetti squash (about 11 inches, about 1 pound)

Maternity clothes?: I've started wearing a few maternity tops

Movement: lots of flutters

Stretch marks?: no

Sleep?: I've been getting some good sleep. I'm trying not to nap as much so I can actually fall asleep at a decent hour. It's like a never ending cycle though. I go to bed late, so I need a nap, and then I'm not tired so I don't go to bed til midnight, and so on and so forth. 

Symptoms?: Heartburn is starting already :(

Food cravings: Nothing specific really 

What I miss: Being thinner. With every pregnancy I get bigger, faster.

What I'm looking forward to: School starts this week! Summer break was harder than I thought it would be. Savannah has a lot of energy and when she gets crazy, the boys follow suit. Things were much more mellow last year while she was in school so I'm hoping that happens again. Sterling is also starting preschool 2 days a week!

16 weeks

I'm a few weeks late on this post. My goal is to post every time I have a prenatal appointment. I'm 19 weeks along right now, but I'm going to write this post as if it were right after my appointment. 

How far along?: 16 weeks 5 days 

Total weight gain: 3 pounds

How big is baby?: The size of an avocado (about 4.5 inches, about 3.5 ounces)

Maternity clothes?: Not yet

Movement: lots of flutters

Stretch marks?: no

Sleep?: I've been insanely tired all the time!

Symptoms?: Heartburn is starting already :(

Food cravings: Orange juice

What I miss: Being able to do anything. I'm so exhausted; I'm completely useless

What I'm looking forward to: We're going to the river next week! I'm so looking forward to a much needed vacation.

Magic number 4

Well, I'm pregnant with baby #4! The kids (well, Savannah and Sterling) are so excited. They both want to have a baby girl, but they know that we don't get to pick. I had my first appointment yesterday and it was a little bit of a nightmare just because the boys were wreaking havoc in the room. And I'm not much of a disciplinarian when I have no pants on...

Other than that, the baby looks good and the heartbeat sounds great! I can still remember Savannah being terrified of the sound of Sterling's heartbeat. She would cry every time we heard it. 

How far along?: 11 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain: -1 pound

How big is baby?: The size of a fig (about 1.6 inches, about .25 ounces)

Maternity clothes?: Not yet

Movement: Absolutely nothing

Stretch marks?: no

Sleep?: I've been insanely tired all the time!

Symptoms?: A tiny bit of nausea

Food cravings: Orange juice

What I miss: Being able to do anything. I'm so exhausted; I'm completely useless

What I'm looking forward to: We are moving into a house next week, July 1. I hate the stress leading up to the move, but I can't wait to be in a bigger place. Right now we have all 3 kids in 1 bedroom and Savannah is really excited to have her own room. 

 

Clark William Lee

Karina had contractions starting at 4:30 am on July 26th. The contractions were about thirty minutes apart. She woke me up around 7 and her contractions were approximately. 10 or 15 minutes apart. We slowly started getting ready to go, not hurrying, thinking we'd wait until she was around 7 minutes apart. Suddenly she started having them about 5 minutes apart and we finally got out the door to take the kids to Linda at the Valley View church building...we got there at around 9:15am. Then Kim, Karina and I drove to the Kaiser hospital in Irvine.

Arrived at the hospital around 10am. Once we arrived in the hospital, Karina was taken into a preliminary room to check how dilated she was and to ask her all the normal hospital questions like what allergies do you have and stuff. They finally tested out her cervix and the intern nurse said she was pretty sure but not perfectly sure that she was dilated to an 8cm. Karina said her pain level was a 5 out of 10 and that she was at approximately max pain tolerance.


We kept telling the nurses that we wanted an epidural, and NOW would be best please, or as soon as possible, anticipating that it was going to get really painful really fast. Sure enough, we'll see that it did.


The nurses said that she had to have an IV and that the full one liter of liquid had to drip through before the epidural. So they got the IV in pretty quick and they were really nice about saying that they were trying to expedite all the processes, for example turning the IV on max drip speeds.


After the IV was in, we moved her into the big room where she would have the baby. After only a few minutes, she started to have really bad contractions and started crying. She got to the point after about 15 minutes that she really couldn't take it anymore. The nurse informed her that the Epidural doc would come in 45 minutes since that's how long until her IV would drip the full 1 liter. Instead though, Karina showed signs of extreme pain by yelling, crying, and saying "I can't do this". The nurses tried their hardest to make her feel ok, telling her to focus on her breathing and that she's doing great. Karina asked Kim and me to pray that she could handle the pain, and get the epidural safely without moving too much. At one point Karina cried out "heavenly father help me! Take away my pain for just five minutes, please I’m begging you!!!" and she kept begging. It was pretty sad, Kim was crying. I was not crying but it was pretty sad to see her like that. When she said, "just five minutes please god" I kinda chuckled a little bit and she responded "I’m serious, please". I laughed because I thought, why not ask for like 30 minutes or a couple of hours. She was really that desperate to get relief from this pain.


Anyway, the nurses clearly were able to expedite the process since only after 10 minutes from the time the nurse said "45 minutes" did they tell her that the epidural doc was outside the room. Also the nurse said the liter hadn’t gone through and they were going to move forward with it anyway. Unfortunately he, the epidural doc heard Karina yelling and he was saying that he didn’t want to do it because she is just going to have the baby. He wanted the nurses to check if she was a 10 already and they were like, no, just do the epidural, she needs it and Karina said "I don't need to push, I need the epidural". He said that if she moved, there would be problems, and he didn’t want to do it if that was going to be the case. He also started talking about how the epidural isn’t going to do much if she's just going to be having the baby in 10 minutes. The nurses and Karina insisted that she needed the medicine so please continue. He finally started working. Kim left the room. Karina sat up, leaning into the bosom of the nurse.


The epidural doc took forever to do his thing and a couple of times he would just stop and go on about how safety is the most important thing. We agreed with him but he went on and on about how he treats everyone the same way, whether you're the president of the world, or his close family member, he was going to do the same thing and go through the same process. It was just a lot of unnecessary and not comforting words that was just annoying Karina and the nurses. We laughed with the nurses afterward and they totally agreed that he was a little too much talk and not enough action. He was a dainty little man, probably in his late 30s.

The epidural took way longer than it normally does, or seems like it should because the doctor was so afraid of Karina moving, and really messing herself up. Alternatively, he’s just a slow doctor.  Before the doctor came in, Karina was writhing in pain, literally rolling around the bed and grabbing the bars on the side and screaming and yelling and just really panicking, all around. God really helped Karina and answered our prayers with the epidural, she was able to sit almost perfectly still for literally 15 minutes which really couldn’t have happened without divine intervention. We are so thankful that Heavenly Father helped her through that process, especially since we were powerless to help her.

The epidural was in at 11:30am. After the epidural Karina was super happy and Kim came back in. Karina's IV fell out while shifting around so they put another one in.

After the epidural

At 12:30 they broke Karina's water and she started pushing at 12:36. Karina didn't have too much pain but she did feel pretty tired and uncomfortable. Karina did feel the delivery portion more so than with Savannah and Sterling. This time she really felt some of that pain and pressure from the baby physically coming out. When Clark’s head finally came out, the nurse told Karina to rest…but she could feel his shoulders still in there and she just laid back and pushed him out. They were a little surprised and were just kinda like, “um, ok, there he is!” Karina is happy she did that because she said, “I felt instant relief” when she did that. At 1:00pm Clark William Lee was born.  20 inches, 7lbs. 10oz.Karina only pushed for 25 minutes, but it kinda felt like longer than the other kids because Karina had a little bit more pain than usual. Sometimes I wonder about these statements because it’s easy to remember pain in the short term and easy to forget pains felt long ago. I mean, also this time we forgot to push the button on the epidural to make more medicine come out. After the baby was born, the nurse came over and pushed the button in preparation for the delivery of the placenta…but we were like, “oh my gosh, forgot about the stupid button!” That was a nice reminder after the fact….wow.


The nurses and midwife and all the staff were really nice, friendly, helpful, informative, and light-hearted. We really loved the experience, the service was amazing and nobody was afraid to talk with us, tell us what's going on, and crack a little joke here and there. It was pretty fun, despite the uncomfortability of the situation. Karina again had a level 2 tear and got sewed up.


Clark is adorable. He doesn't cry too much, he's pretty happy so far (writing this at 3pm). He has cute little feet, and loves to look at you when you talk to him. We can't wait to tell our other kids, and show him off! Sterling will be so jealous. Savannah may be sad it's not a girl...I hope she loves him just the same.

 Clark and Grandma

 Clark and Nana

39 Weeks

This is the day I would've had Sterling. I was induced a week early with him because my OB was awesome and knew I needed to schedule when my mom would come into town :) And I was already dilated to a 3. Read his birth story HERE.

How far along?: 39 weeks exactly

Total weight gain: 27 pounds

How big is baby?: The size of a watermelon (18.9-20.9 inches, 6.2-9.2 pounds)

Maternity clothes?: When I'm forced to wear clothes (it's sooooooo hot here), I'm in gym shorts. 

Movement: A little less than usual. Maybe that baby's finally running out of room.

Stretch marks?: I'm starting to think I have a few around my belly button, but I'm not sure. I guess we'll see what it looks like after the belly goes away.

Sleep?: Sleeping horribly still. 

Symptoms?: Heartburn :(

Food cravings: Soda

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach

What I'm looking forward to: My mom finally booked a flight and will be here Tuesday! Hopefully the baby comes soon after!

Best Moment this week: I've been nesting like crazy the past few weeks. A couple months ago we bought a big kitchen table and 6 chairs on Craigslist for super cheap with the intention of painting them. Well, we procrastinated, but last week we finally finished it! And it looks sooooo good. I was getting so stressed out about it being done before the baby came. 

Before

After

Don't mind the Cheerios on the floor under the table...

I've been getting a lot of other cleaning and organizing done too, so I'm feeling more prepared for this baby to come. Of course I wouldn't be me if I wasn't stressing a little though. 

38 Weeks

On the pregnancy timeline, I had Savannah today. I was induced exactly 2 weeks early with her, which is making me more anxious. I didn't have to just sit around and wait to go into labor and the suspense is killing me! Read her birth story HERE.

How far along?: 38 weeks exactly

Total weight gain: 25 pounds

How big is baby?: The size of a pumpkin (18.9-20.9 inches, 6.2-9.2 pounds)

Maternity clothes?: More like men's clothes. It kills me every time I see adorable clothes at Target.

Movement: Painfully frequent movement

Stretch marks?: no

Sleep?: Sleeping horribly. I'm way too uncomfortable. It's been taking me about an hour to fall asleep.

Symptoms?: Same old, same old

Food cravings: Soda

What I miss: Being comfortable 

What I'm looking forward to: My mommy being here and, obviously, my baby being here. Hopefully sooner than later. 

Best Moment this week: I'm 1cm dilated and 50% effaced, which isn't that exciting, but it means things are happening. 

35 Weeks!!

How far along?: 35 weeks 4 days

Total weight gain: 23 pounds

How big is baby?: The size of a coconut (17.2-18.7 inches, 4.2-5.8 pounds) 

Maternity clothes?: I'm basically wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt every day...just like the summer I had Sterling. Too HOT!

Movement: Holy Freak, this baby is killing me. It feels like his/her foot is literally going to bust through my belly at any moment. Very painful. 

Stretch marks?: no

Sleep?: Sleeping a little better than I have been, but I still wake up occasionally. 

Symptoms?: Still just heartburn and agonizing pain in my left buttock...TMI?

Food cravings: Just feed me

What I miss: My body :( 

What I'm looking forward to: Not that I normally enjoy going to the doctor, but I'm looking forward to going to appointments every week now, just because it means I'm THAT close to delivery!

Best Moment this week: Had my first baby shower on Saturday! My beautiful sister-in-law, Sam, threw me an adorable little shindig. I left with 8 giant boxes of diapers!! 

Third Trimester!

•How far along?: 30 weeks 6 days

•Total weight gain: 20 pounds

•How big is baby?: The size of a cucumber (15.2-16.7 inches, 2.5-3.8 pounds) 

•Maternity clothes?: Mostly stretchy t-shirts and leggings

•Movement: Soooooooo much. This baby does not stop moving, which is exactly how Savannah was. Maybe it's a girl?

•Stretch marks?: no

•Sleep?: I wake up once every night, but I just roll over and go back to sleep

•Symptoms?: Heartburn and horrible back pain on my left side :(

•Food cravings: Uh...yes...I crave food

•What I miss: Bending over without suffocating myself

•What I'm looking forward to: We're going on vacation with my family to Florida! I can't wait to just be on the beach for a week and do nothing! Hope my mom knows she's responsible for my children.

•Best Moment this week: Every week is pretty much the same now. I'll say something about last week though. On Mother's Day we were running a little late for church because of the morning breakfast festivities, but I wanted to look nice so I just accepted the fact that we would miss a little of the beginning. Luckily, like 30 minutes til church started I remembered that the Primary kids were probably singing that morning! Savannah's first time singing in church! We can't miss that! So I didn't even shower that day (cute, huh?). We all just threw on our clothes, I wiped the smeared mascara from the day before off my face, and we left. And let me tell you, it was soooooooo worth it. Savannah was so stinkin adorable up there singing. She walked up to the front holding hands with her friend, Chiara. She was waving at us while she was singing. I mean, it was precious. Can't wait for her to do it again on Father's Day!

 Greg was lucky enough to capture this

26 weeks

25 weeks

WOW! It's been a long time since I posted about this pregnancy. My thought was to post every time I had a doctor's appointment, but I missed my last one, so that's why it's been so long. 

So today I had a check-up and everything looks good. At around 18 weeks I went in for the big mid-pregnancy ultrasound and she said everything looked normal there. However, she did notice a small hemorrhage behind my placenta. Nothing to worry about as long as I don't notice any bleeding. And, I kept my word and told the ultrasound tech not to divulge the gender! It actually wasn't that difficult not finding out. Honestly this pregnancy has been going by pretty quickly so I don't think it will phase me having to wait 3 more months to find out. 

I also had my glucose screening today for gestational diabetes. Not super fun, but not as gross as I remember it. The screening consists of drinking a super sugary beverage, waiting an hour, and then getting your blood drawn to see how efficiently your body processes the sugar. I haven't had any problems with the last 2 pregnancies, so I wasn't anticipating any this time around. Good news! Literally as I'm writing this post I got an email from the doctor that my tests came back normal! So, no diabetes for me!

How far along?: 25 weeks 6 days

•Total weight gain: 15 pounds! Slow down there buddy!

•How big is baby?: The size of a cauliflower (13.6-14.8 inches, 1.5-2.5 pounds) 

•Maternity clothes?: I don't really have a lot of maternity clothes, but I definitely don't fit into pre-pregnancy pants anymore. I'm relying on leggings and stretchy shirts right now.

•Movement: Tons!

•Stretch marks?: Not yet, but I have a feeling I might get some this time because I'm getting bigger faster than in the past

•Sleep?: I usually wake up once in the middle of the night, feeling uncomfortable, but I'm able to fall back asleep fairly quickly. 

•Symptoms?: Slight heartburn at night

•Food cravings: Nothing out of the ordinary, but I just want to snack all the time.

•What I miss: Clothes :(

•What I'm looking forward to: I don't think there's anything pregnancy related that I'm looking forward to that will happen in the near future. From here on out it's basically just regular check-ups.

•Best Moment this week: My amazing neighbor (shout-out to Alex!) offered to watch the kiddos during my doctor's appointments. But since I missed last month, today was the first chance I had to take her up on the offer. It was so amazing! Probably not as amazing for her, although hopefully Sterling wasn't too cranky. Sterling usually screams the entire time we're at my check-ups (maybe he thinks we're there for him?), so it was so nice to not have to bring the whole gang this time. 


I also wanted to use this post to write some things that I want to remember that have happened recently. On March 1, my older sister's birthday, I got a call from my dad that my older sister passed away the night before. WHAT! Alicia was only 28 (turning 29 the day I got the call). I literally couldn't breathe when I heard those words. All I could do was sob into Greg's arms. And I mean loud, ugly sobbing. Her husband of about 2 years, Scot, discovered her on the night of Feb. 28. She went down for a nap, and left forever. I cannot imagine what went through his mind. Obviously an autopsy was done since this was extremely unexpected, but we still haven't heard any results. 

The next few days were full of tears and lots of phone calls with my parents. My siblings, my parents, and I (and my kids) flew out to Colorado 3 days later to see Alicia before she was cremated. That was hard. I knew I needed to see her for "closure" and to really believe it, but I almost didn't want to see her. I half-believed that it wasn't true, even after seeing her. I kept expecting her to open her eyes the entire time we were there. And I will never forget the look on my brother's face when he walked into the room. He literally fell onto the couch when he saw her. I think it was hardest on him (after my mom). 

We all flew to Georgia the next day to prepare for Alicia's memorial service on March 7. It was so amazing how many people came. There weren't even enough seats. So many people loved Alicia, which doesn't surprise me because she was such a people-person. Everything was so bitter-sweet. I was happy to be with my family, because I don't see them very often, but I hated the circumstances. 

Throughout all of this, my dad's father (Papa) was in the hospital because of kidney failure and liver disease. He'd been in the hospital for a while already, but he had been getting a lot worse. We didn't even tell him about Alicia because we were afraid he would just give up on living. On March 13, Papa passed away. The kids and I were able to extend our trip so we could attend Papa's burial. 

I'd never had anyone close to me pass away. Until now, all my grandparents were living. And then, within 2 weeks, 2 people so precious to me left this Earth. It is comforting to know that Alicia and Papa are together though. He was so goofy, I can only imagine his shocked face when he saw her. It's also comforting to know that I will see them both again. This life is short in the grand scheme of things, but it will still be hard without them. 

17 weeks

•How far along?: 17 weeks 5 days

•Total weight gain: 7 pounds

•How big is baby?: The size of an onion (5.1 inches, 5.9 ounces) 

•Maternity clothes?: a few pieces. I can still fit in my regular clothes, but the maternity tops are a little more flattering to a large belly

•Movement: sometimes I think I can feel fluttering, but who knows?

•Stretch marks?: no

•Sleep?: still insanely tired and it doesn't help that Sterling usually wakes up at 8am screaming bloody murder

•Symptoms?: sleepiness 

•Food cravings: fruit and savory food. Haven't been in the mood for dessert

•What I miss: everything's still pretty much the same 

•What I'm looking forward to: i have my big mid-pregnancy ultrasound next week! Usually this is when we'd find out the gender, but we've decided to wait until birth for that so the ultrasound won't be as exciting as usual. But I'll still get to see my baby up close and personal!

•Best Moment this week: Sterling still hasn't started talking, which we kind of aren't freaking out about just because Savannah was a super late talker too. But this week he's really been showing us that he understands everything we're saying, which is a relief. If I tell him to put something in the trash, he walks right over and does it without me pointing. He knows some body parts now and when I tell him to go get Savannah, he walks right over to her. He's so cute!